Dealing with a narcissist isn’t easy. Their traits centralize their self-focus and lack of empathy, which often results in hurtful actions.
If you’ve ever wondered, “Do narcissists apologize?” or if they experience remorse or love, you’re in good company. The answer is complex.
If you need support, a Premier Mental Health Professional can help. They can teach you ways to handle a narcissist. Contact us.
Narcissists do apologize. Yet, their apologies may not meet our expectations. Let’s discuss about it in detail.
What Is Narcissism?
We must first grasp narcissism when we talk about apologies.
This trait is tied to something called Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD).
It means a person sees themselves in high regard, seeks heaps of admiration, and finds empathy hard. Individuals with narcissistic leanings can be charming and confident.
Yet, they often battle with seeing themselves clearly and fail to build good relationships with others.
Types of Narcissistic Apologies
Narcissists commonly use the following types of apologies:
| Type of Narcissistic | Description | Example |
| Non-Apology | Avoids taking responsibility; shifts blame to others or circumstances. | “Sorry, you feel that way.” |
| Conditional Apology | Includes conditions or excuses; implies apology depends on the other person’s actions. | “Sorry if you were hurt, but you overreacted.” |
| Self-Centered Apology | Focuses on the apologizer’s feelings rather than the harm done to the other person. | “Sorry, but this has been tough for me too.” |
Do Narcissists Know They’re Hurting Others?
Narcissists’ awareness of the emotional harm they cause can vary greatly:
- Unaware due to Lack of Empathy: They may not understand how their behaviors affect others emotionally due to an empathy deficit.
- Aware but Unconcerned: They might realize they are causing upset but put their desires before others’ feelings.
- Aware and Using It as a Tactic: Some may purposefully cause emotional hurt to control or play people, using it as a means to retain control or reliance.
- Aware but in Denial: They might sense they’re causing harm. But, they shrug it off or downplay it. They often justify their actions to avoid blame.
No matter their awareness, narcissistic actions continue to be harmful and intolerable.
Do Narcissists Apologize?
Can narcissists apologize? It’s a common misbelief that narcissists never say sorry. Yes, they often find empathy challenging and may use manipulative methods, but they do apologize at times.
Yet, these apologies typically don’t meet expectations. Narcissists may apologize, but usually, it’s more about meeting their ends than expressing actual regret.
An apology from them might serve to mend their reputation or place themselves as the wronged party.
Sometimes, narcissists don’t apologize, their pride and refusal to recognize their mistakes hold them back from any apology. Thus, even if a narcissist does apologize, it’s typically not from the heart.
Why Do Narcissists Apologize?
There are a few reasons:
First, they often use apologies as a tool. They say sorry to get control back in a situation. An apology can be a way to trick the other person into forgiving them and keep the power.
Second, Narcissists apologize to avoid any negative outcomes or to fix conflicts. The apology is like a temporary fix. It makes a situation seem healed. But, it doesn’t address the real issue.
Third, apologies can act as a mirror for them. Narcissists use them to look good in society or to pretend to be thoughtful and understanding.
An apology from someone experiencing NPD may not show real regret. It’s usually a tool to look good, dodge blame, or get something they want.
This kind of fake apology might leave you puzzled, questioning yourself, or ending up feeling even more upset than you were after the wrongdoing.
How Does a Narcissist Apologize?
An apology from someone who a narcissist is might not sound sincere because it mostly aims at protecting themselves, not fixing the wrong done. They rarely admit their mistakes or feel authentic regret.
Their apology might tone down what they did and point fingers at others, or give out false reasons. Words like “I’m sorry if you felt bad” could be used instead of directly admitting they did wrong.
So, their apologies are usually meant to save their face or twist things in their favor, not really to mend the bond.
How to Respond When a Narcissistic Apologizes?
When dealing with a narcissist’s apology, it’s important to remember to understand their reasons and stand your ground. Here’s how you can react:
- Assess the Sincerity
Check if their apology is real or just a trick to dodge trouble. Narcissists may say sorry to stay dominant or to look respectable, not because they truly regret it.
- Keep It Simple
If the sorry doesn’t feel honest, you can say, “Thanks for the apology,” without getting too caught up.
- Set Boundaries
If they’re saying sorry often, remind them that such behavior is not okay and should stop. You can say, “I hear you sorry, but this can’t happen again.”
- Avoid Overanalyzing
Narcissists might say sorry to change the subject. Don’t pick apart their words, see if their actions match their apology.
- Prioritize Your Well-Being
Think about your wellness. If being around the narcissist is upsetting you, strengthen your limits or talk to a professional.
- Maintain Emotional Distance
Don’t let them toy with your feelings. A reply like, “Thank you for saying sorry. I need time to think,” can help manage the situation.
Conclusion
To sum up, Do Narcissists Apologize? Narcissists have a complicated approach to apologizing, influenced by their personality and motives.
Those with Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) or similar traits often issue fake apologies.
Narcissists are fake in their expressions of remorse. This behavior is mainly to protect themselves and avoid feelings of inadequacy.
To safeguard yourself, stay calm, set firm limits, and reduce contact.
FAQs
Should I apologize to a narcissist?
Admitting mistakes to such a person might not yield anything and may even improve their attitude. It’s usually smarter to form firm limitations and put your health first.
Are narcissists capable of genuinely loving their children?
Narcissists can demonstrate affection for their children. However, a catch exists. Their love frequently hinges on the image the child’s conduct reflects on them. Authentic, limitless love is challenging for narcissists to express.
Do narcissists apologize for cheating?
They might, although it’s often not genuine or altruistic. Their apology could be a strategy to manipulate or acquire control, not a true sense of remorse.
How do I keep away from a narcissist’s manipulation?
Set clear boundaries. Your emotional health comes first. If necessary, talk to an expert in mental health.
What if a narcissist keeps acting badly, even after saying sorry?
Remind them of your lines. Don’t get sucked into their manipulation game. If they keep hurting you, think about cutting ties.
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